.... something.

Something is gone...

My energy is down. I seem to be irritable all the time... and/or tired. Even my days off aren't relieving anymore...

I don't like this. I want to be happy and "shiney" again... Even my hair colorist (who sees me every 2 months or so) said the other day that I wasn't "my normal happy self"... *heavy sigh*

Why? I can't seem to finish anything. I've given up on the 365 Project... and I started that 30 Day Drawing Challenge and only made it a week. Motivation is a stranger to me.

I think I might know what this something is.

Human interaction.

Seriously. I think that may be it... Since I moved to Dell Rapids and started working, I haven't had much interaction with anyone outside of Mandy and Travis. And I am, by no means, demeaning the interactions that I have with them. If I didn't have them, I'd probably go nuts... (Like I'm 'not' already...)

How did I find this out? I went to Madison to watch the play on Saturday night. I watched the performance. I watched my peers perform on stage... without me. I had nothing to do with this production and it was a surreal feeling for me. But it was afterwards... the reactions from the people that I knew was overwhelming in the best way possible. Every single one of them recognized me by my laugh... of course... but I was perfectly fine with that. I laughed that night, during and after the production, more than I have laughed in the last month. No lie.

I just... was so happy to see them. I had that same "theater energy" as when I was actually in the productions. I miss acting. I miss Drama Club... I miss so much about college. Now, I'm out in the "real world", working.... and working. This is what I have to look forward to for the next 80 years? Outlook is bleak at this point.

And I have no real complaints. Travis and I just passed the 15 month mark. We're still going strong. No big fights. Work is going well. I'm getting 40+ hours between the two jobs. Should not be unhappy.... but I know something is off.

Then, it's when that something starts to invade my thinking... and makes me overthink. Overanalyze everything. Why isn't this happening? Why can't it? What am I doing wrong? etc... >.<

Any suggestions? Advice?

Have you been there?

Still Going....

Hey there readers,

I know it's been a while and I'm sorry for that. I've been busy, busy, busy... Okay, not so much as busy as working A LOT.

Wal*Mart has been going well. There was a while there where I wasn't getting as many hours as I wanted because they were "cracking down" and limiting all the part-timers to their 32 hours.... But now it's "Christmas Season" so there are more hours available and I will be working approximately 40 hours there per week for the next couple of months. This is will be great for saving up the money I need to.

Then, there's Things Remembered. It's getting a lot better now. I was so nervous when I started, but I'm able to lead sales and bring in the numbers pretty well. I've been assigned to work all day Sundays... so being there for more than a handful of hours at a time helps. :D For example, yesterday I made 281% of our goal! Oh yes. haha I actually really like engraving things. It gives me some sort of creative outlet since I haven't been able to sit down and paint or draw.

Which.... I'm really sad about. I tried really hard to stick with the 30 Day Drawing Challenge... and I failed. Horribly. I ended up stopping after day... 11... or 12. Something like that. I think I wasn't able to think of what to do for one so then I skipped it that day and said I would do it the next day... Well, we know how that turned out, don't we? :( *heavy sigh* Bleh. Even now, I want to draw and paint, but my body and mind is just too tired. :( Gr.

Anyway.... what else? OOooo, Travis and I got a bed frame for our bed... FINALLY! haha It's so beautiful! It's one of those almost antique looking ones... solid wood and sturdy. (Pictures soon) A couple of downers... It came without the screws to put it together and I realized that we need a box spring. Sooo, for now we're going to use a piece of plywood until we're able to afford the box spring.

Yea... that's really all that's new lately. Thanks for tuning in!



Stay Tuned!